4 things Basketball Parents Should Do to keep their Player(s) Engaged
Parents should not make it a priority for their child to play basketball; however, if your child has a strong desire to play, then you as the parent should make it your child's priority to show and prove their commitment to the game. My mother’s strategy was always to first ask me if I was interested in playing a particular sport (or for that matter, any new activity). We would have talks about the things I liked or disliked about the sport and how much time invested into the sport it would take away from my school work. She always kept the conversation positive, non-pressured and geared to what's important to me, not her. If that were not the case, she would have forced curling irons in my hands because cosmetology was her profession. The fact that I was born with the love for playing basketball made the conversation with my mom about playing basketball very easy. My mom never had to force me to play or practice; it was something that I naturally enjoyed doing. So my inevitable success as a amateur player stemmed from her encouraging me to do what “I” loved, not what “she” loved. There is a difference. In today’s world, I have observed parents who are forcing their children to excel at the sport they wished to have excelled in (most have turned themselves into coaches) and that is not always fair to the child.
I mentioned the fact that I was never forced to play basketball because I think there are masses of parents who have the meaning of “encouraging their child to try basketball” and “forcing their child to play basketball” misconstrued. As a result, I’ve seen many youth athletes quit at a time when their interest in basketball should be peaking. I believe that adult expectations are the number one cause and I fear and predict that in the future, there will be more cases of children quitting basketball.
One reason is the gap between the youth athletes desire to have fun and the misguided notion among some adults that their child’s basketball games are a mini version of their adult competitions, where the main objective is to win. Another reason, there are too many parents wanting their children to be “stars” and so they are pushing them too hard and too early with hopes of them becoming a professional athlete some day! If it is in God’s will for your child to become a professional athlete, then it will simply occur regardless of how good they are as an adolescent. As an example, Lebron James son is an incredible youth basketball player. I have watched several videos of the little guy destroying kids that are his age. Does this automatically mean he will be a NBA super star like his father? No, it does not. In other instances, some kids naturally have “star” or “professional athlete” written on their foreheads as they consistently display God-given ability at an early age, while others may not. No matter what, both types are subject to quit before they rise as stars or professional athletes, especially if they are being forced to become one.
Parents, to keep your amateur player engaged in basketball never hesitate to do the following.
1. Have a two-way conversation with your child about their participation in
basketball or sports in general.
Listen to their needs and wants and encourage them to do what makes them feel confident and happy. Do not be surprised if your child doesn’t want to play sports at all! Under these circumstances, forcing your child to play is still a bad idea. Instead, give them a little nudge to do something physical. If you don’t at least “nudge” your child to be physically active, they might instead spend their entire day playing video games or on Instagram double clicking random photos. However, if your child decides to try basketball or any other sport, insist that they commit to finishing the entire season. If they want to give the sport up after playing a full season, that's fine. But don't let them learn the habit of quitting on their teammates in mid-season or giving up when the activity becomes more strenuous or demanding.
2. If you find that your child has a STRONG liking for basketball, use positive enforcement to get them to work just as hard in other areas of their life. I will admit that I was quite the classroom culprit during my k-12 tenure; however, my mom as well as my teachers in school used basketball as a way to get me to behave in class. They knew if they threatened to take basketball away from me, I would correct my behavior. It was their way to get me to make good choices as a child, as I would often think about the consequences I'd suffer for making bad choices (i.e., not being able to participate in sports).
3. Keep the pressure off your child by never coaching from the sidelines. I know that it is hard, but please fight this well-intended but negative impulse.
In all my years on earth, I've noted that youth teams are usually equipped with a coach, sometimes two, so there is no need for a parent to be yelling out conflicting or distracting instructions from the sidelines. This will only place more stress and confusion on your child during competition and irritate your child’s coach.
4. Do your part in making sports a positive and fun experience for your children. Rather than critiquing their performance after each game, ask them what they thought about the game and how they did. Focus on how hard they tried rather than specific results. And, of course, show up for games whenever you can. I can count on one hand how many games my mom missed. Understand your child's challenges and celebrate their improvements and triumphs, win or lose.
5. Are there anymore ideas that we can add to the list? Feel free to comment below and share for others to join in on the topic!
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